What its like being a loner

i saw her sitting alone
absorbed in her own world
why is no one there
is she a goner??
no, she is just a loner...

she looked up
and saw me observing
slowly her lips curved into a smile
but i was thinking all this while

why is her smile so forced
does she hate me to be here
does she want to be alone??
even the thought i could not bear

i started walking away
"wait" a cry came my way
i stopped to turn around
and this time i saw her eyes
and they got me dumbfound

i smiled at her and said bye
but i am still thinking
why does she matter to me
whoever she may be??

i wake up from sleep
that's when i started to weep
her eyes....they were so empty
it was such a pity
that they had to be so sad
was being a loner so bad

i washed my face
and looked at myself in mirror
i searched my own eyes
can i be her??

"hey idiot" i hear them shout
"what are you doing...is everything alright??"
there faces full of concern
erased all my questions

looking at my friends
i can see the light
what was i thinking
what was i searching
they are here as always
there shine hides my greys
now i do not fear
you see i am no longer a loner...

My angel

Opened my eyes
and saw that face
it was full of beauty
it was full of grace
seeing her, i still feel this way
god hasn't made a similarity till date

till date, she has the happiest features
how can one hurt this creature
her eyes literally glow
seeing them still fills me with hopes

hope, not to be rich and blah blah blah
hope rather to shine like a star
not for me myself
this is for some1 else's well

well, she did always teach me
that u should believe
in the goodness of the world
even if it sometimes hurts

it hurts to see her sad
it feels joyful to see her glad
she is so connected to us
that none can gain higher trust

trust me, she is an angel
and came into my life like a miracle
she is more than what u discover
she is world's best sister
know it sounds cheesy
but i don't have any words for "didi"
she is just so good and nice
she is my light ever since
i opened my eyes.

To: Ma, thanks for believing in me

Whenever some1 laughed on me
whatever may the reason be
my heart would crash
I so used to feel like trash

But you were always there
wiping my tears
silently reassuring
always saying
"baby you are the best
don’t worry about d rest
they are just jealous of you"
and changed my view

I always used to fall
sometimes I also failed
it would bereft me of any hope
gosh! I felt like such a dope

And you were still there
holding me up with all your care
you made me see the sky
you actually believed I could fly
seeing your eyes full of faith
my fears I would shake
you dragged me out of that blue
and changed my view

I used to remain invisible
so knowing me was not so feasible
nobody would see what I am
they believed in my sham

But you were never fooled
see, it was a world you ruled
you knew me inside out
knew my laughs and my pouts
knew what i wanted
so whatever i flaunted
you made me see what’s true
and changed my view

There are moments
when i am scared
there are moments
when i want you to be here
i wanna talk to you
i wanna tell you all my worries

Even though you are not here
i know you are with me
wherever i go wherever i be
you take my tensions away
you always make it seem like a play
with you i feel so close to home
wish there was some way
to say how much i love you mom.

The concept of "we"

I still remember
the day you came into my life
till then it was all about me and my
but you cared for me and i copied
creating, the concept of "we"

we would always be together
through every kindda weather
holding hands, listening to one another
being as close as could be
building, the concept of "we"

but when the clouds flew away
sun shone through the day
closeness was irritating
the hands became sweaty
weakening the concept of "we"

we needed each other
as badly as possible
i moulded myself, i complied
seeing your eyes filled with light
i could sense the victory
in saving, the concept of "we"

but now when i look at you
your eyes are frowning
your voice is close to loathing
you dont like me expecting
blurring, the concept of "we"

baby i am still waiting
my arms are wide open
i will change every hair
just for you to stay here
why cant u see me
holding on to, the concept of "we"

you think me to be mean
and i am done avoiding
as tears rolled down my cheek
through blurred eyes i see
you inching away from me
erasing, the concept of "we"

Lost moments

there were some words
that should have been spoken
there were some deeds
that should have been done

but they were considered trivial
just left...not a big deal!!!

but as i hold the broken shards
of our once treasured relation
as i look through the cards
that showed the true feelings, the true emotion

why...why did i not stop you
why didnt u turn around
why did this thing blew
when we were always so bound

may be i should have said
how gud u looked in that shirt
may be i should have told
how gud i feel when we flirt

but i dont know what crossed my mind
i never spoke of my hearts feelings
but i want to correct this condition
as i take away the peelings

one last chance to correct myself
one last chance to speak what's true
one last time i say i do care
once again i confess "i still love you"

My first crush

the day was like any other
sitting and idolizing myself
my sight running here and there
in unusual thoughts i dwelt
it happened then
in a truly weird way
someone crossed my path
and in a second, made my day

the face like an angel
the strut like a supermodel
oh what wont i give
just to make him turn
and cant even imagine
my state if he utters a word

my eyes followed him
till he reached a bench nearby
my smile became grim
how to approach him, say hi??

as i gathered my courage
he just got up and ran
seemed his mom had come
there went my plan...damn!!!

well it was still nice to see
a cuter face than ever can be
his thought still makes me blush
after all he was my first ever crush

Silence

Everything is so still
as if nothing is there
looking around everywhere
feels i am in nowhere
that presence of absence
I refer to it as silence

It is my haven
it is my place
I feel closer to me
I feel so safe
I can hear my thought
I can hear my heart
that aura filled with innocence
I refer to it as silence

I shut my eyelids
and let it cover me
my mind at peace
I felt so free
my sleep at bay
I felt this way
the beauty in that ambience
I refer to it as silence

A Happy Elephant

Today i saw an elephant
going about its usual rant
he was happy to be there
too happy to even care
that everyone was jealous
"What's the reason, why to create a fuss
so what if you are happy
but many of us are feeling crappy
cant you keep your emotions limited
as you can see we are not as elated
go find some one else to share
and for a change plz do care"

elephant pulled his tongue out
and asked them a very serious doubt
"what did i do to make u like dis
what did i do that u r so pissed
just the fact that i m happy makes u sad
tell me how more can it be bad
you are worried not that your life is messed
but b'coz someone else's is blessed"

a stupid elephant had so much of gumption
his simplicity denied all assumption
seeing this i decided today
that wenever some1 is happy and gay
his state should remain,thus i'll pray